Advice for the Best Man & Maid of Honor

Advice for the Best Man and Maid of Honor

Help for the Best Man and Maid of Honor

ADVICE FOR THE BEST MAN

There is an ever-changing role for the best man.  The best thing you can do is to talk with the groom early on and establish what roles and responsibilities for which you are able to do and he can count on you.  Any bridal planning book will list traditional responsibilities given to the best man.  Some of these are: plan the bachelor party, help keep the groomsmen organized on the wedding day, pay and tip the wedding professionals (with the groom's money), make sure the groom gets everywhere he has to be, return tuxedos after the wedding day, and the two most important jobs: keep the groom calm and give a toast.  The easiest way to keep the groom in good spirits is to listen to him, reassure him, help him, and laugh with him throughout the day. romantic kiss

THE TOAST

The most difficult chore for most people will be the toast.  Most people are not comfortable with public speaking.  If you are not, don't feel that your toast has to be long.  You don't have to make everyone laugh and cry.  Our best advice is, your toast can be short.  Don't add filler that is not pertinent.  If you make fun of the groom, connect it to the gist of the toast ("Growing up Raymond always made mistakes.  All those years of saying, "I'm sorry" will come in handy in having a happy marriage.") Never refer to old girlfriends, humiliating embarrassments, or stories that would upset the family members present (grandparents, siblings, parents, etc.).  One good starting point is a story about the bride and groom.  Then connect the story to a principle of a happy marriage.  Another possibility is to retell a famous quotation on love or life.  Then connect it to the bride and groom's life together.  If possible, it is very nice to include the bride in your toast, don't just go on and on about how great the groom is.  Before you begin the toast, you can welcome everyone and thank them for coming.  Don't rush your speech.  You should talk slower than you normally do.  Hold the microphone near your mouth and speak into the mouthpiece.  DO NOT tap the microphone with your hand to see if it is on.  Simply say something like, "Hello.  Welcome.  Can you hear me?" etc. Tapping the microphone can damage the entire sound system and sounds very bad.  When you are finished with the toast, make sure you say something to indicate that fact, "To the new bride and groom", "Cheers!", "To your happiness", etc. and lift your glass.  If your hand will shake during the toast, don't hold the glass during the speech.  You can pick it up as you say your one sentence wrap-up ("Please raise your glass and toast Tara and Brian and the many years of love and happiness ahead of them." or something else).  If public speaking is too much for you, tell the groom early and someone else can be enlisted to give the toast.  Practice your speech and possibly read some books on public speaking.  Finally, you can't go wrong with a heartfelt sentimental speech that keeps with the day's theme of a lifelong love affair.  But once again, a short, standard toast sounds a lot better than a rambling, pointless speech that goes nowhere.  Trust us, we've heard plenty of both.
Another task for the best man is helping with the dollar dance.

THE BEST MAN & THE DOLLAR DANCE

If the bride and groom are having the Dollar Dance, you will need to help them.  Here is what you do:
The DJ plays slow songs.  The ladies who want to dance with the groom line up behind you.  You tell them when they can cut in.  Usually, let the ladies dance 15-25 seconds each.  Exceptions would be close family and people who drop BIG bills in, unless the person comes up near the end of the dollar dance.  The maid of honor will be doing the same thing for the bride.  It is best if both lines end at approximately the same time so try to adjust for that. If your line is longer than the Bride's line, let the ladies dance a shorter amount of time.  If your line is shorter, allow them to dance a little longer.  The money is generally for use during the honeymoon or possibly the new home, if anyone asks.  The name "Dollar Dance" is outdated and it should be called a "Money Dance" hint, hint.

ADVICE FOR THE MAID OF HONOR

The best thing you can do is to talk with the bride early on and establish what roles and responsibilities for which you are able to do and she can count on you.  Any bridal planning book will list traditional responsibilities given to the maid of honor.   Some of these are: help plan the wedding, organize parties in the bride's honor, help keep the bridesmaids organized throughout the wedding day, and the most important job is to keep the bride calm.  The easiest way to keep the bride in good spirits is to listen to her, reassure her, help her, and laugh with her throughout the day.   It is becoming more common for the maid of honor to give a toast after the best man.   If you have strong feelings about that, let the bride know.  Advice for public speaking is listed above under the advice for the toast.

Another task for the maid of honor is helping with the dollar dance.

MAID OF HONOR & THE DOLLAR DANCE

If the bride and groom are having the Dollar Dance, you will need to help them.  Here is what you do:
The DJ plays slow songs.  The men who want to dance with the bride line up behind you.  You tell them when they can cut in.  Usually, let the men dance 15-25 seconds each.  Exceptions would be close family and people who drop BIG bills in, unless the person comes up near the end of the dollar dance.  The best man will be doing the same thing for the groom.  It is best if both lines end at approximately the same time so try to adjust for that. If your line is longer than the groom's line, let the men dance a shorter amount of time.  If your line is shorter, allow them to dance a little longer.  The money is generally for use during the honeymoon, if anyone asks.  The name "Dollar Dance" is outdated and it should be called a "Money Dance" hint, hint.

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